Seems to me critics have been falling all over themselves to praise this awkward film written by "How I Met Your Mother" star Jason Segel and part of that whole Judd Apatow production juggernaut that is taking over the world. Me, not so much.

Because Apatow doesn't have time to direct every new, R-rated, raunchy post-post Porky's cinematic achievement, he's farmed such duties out to his friends as a sort of training exercise. This one is directed by Nicholas Stoller, whose qualifications for directing a feature are a couple episodes of "Undeclared". Now, I suppose this is perfectly good experience, but pretty much a scene didn't go by where I was wondering if Stoller was playing with the camera or masturbating or doing something other than paying attention to what was going on.

The pregnant pause is a perfectly adequate mechanism for creating a sense of awkwardness. However, when those pauses seem to come one, right after another, it's more a sign of laziness. I mean, fine, if I'm having a conversation with somebody who's verbally challenged, I get that things might progress slowly. When I go see a movie, there's just no reason to drag things out. "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is a movie that you'll be able to put on 2x when it comes out on DVD and not notice a thing.

And for anybody who's heard anything about this movie, I'm obviously avoiding what most of you would have expected to be my lead, which is that viewers are treated to the site of Jason Segel's penis about three thousand times. Seriously, you look down, you look up. There's Segel's penis. You get up and go to the bathroom and come back. There's Segel's penis. I spend enough of my time looking away from male genitalia in the gym. I don't need more of it in the theater.

And am I really supposed to believe that Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) can bed both Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) and Rachel Jansen (Mila Kunis)? Give me a break. Sarah, a television star, dumps Peter. Peter goes to Hawaii for some relaxation, runs into Sarah with her new rock-and-roll boyfriend, Aldous Snow (Russell Brand), and falls for Rachel. I guessed at this point that Peter was into having girls shit on his face since that was about the only way either one of these hotties was going to go near the dude. Segel's penis certainly wasn't the explanation.

For those of you who've been here awhile, I refer you to my "Forget Paris" review as my parting line for "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Yes, I know, self referencing is disgusting, but sometimes such things are apropos.